An Improbable Result

Today, Blackberry (nee RIM) launched a new phone, and while I was pretty cynical about their buzz and hype, I noticed in my twitter feed that they’re partnering with Neil Gaiman who’s one of my favorite writers to make a “Calendar of Tales” with ideas crowdsourced from twitter. There’s a “tale” for each month and each one is a question poised by @neilhimself.I got into it pretty late, but I decided to go all-in. Below are my ideas. Of course they’re in haiku.

January
Why is January so dangerous?

the leftover warmth /
from the holidays makes one /
forget a sweater

February
What’s the strangest thing that ever happened to you in February?

took a class to breathe /
fire. it was taught indoors. the /
building’s roof was wood.

March
What Historical figure does March remind you of?

John Philip Sousa /
Simple, yet brilliant answer. /
Also, died in March.

April
What’s your happiest memory of April?

that briefest moment /
of intense clarity that /
comes after a sneeze.

May
What is the weirdest gift you’ve ever been given in May?

previous owners /
of our house were shipped a gross /
of sample toothpastes.

June
Where would you spend a perfect June?

at The Big Island’s /
artist community to /
build ukuleles.

July
What is the most unusual thing you have ever seen in July?

the sun in the sky /
after ten at night at friends’ /
wedding in Norway

August
If August could speak, what would it say?

stay outside as long /
as you can for the house needs /
its vacation too.

September
Tell me something you lost in September that meant a lot to you.

optimism was /
handled roughly but it has /
recovered somewhat.

October
What mythical creature would you like to meet in October?

I’d meet Scylla or /
Charybdis before they earned /
their reputations

November
What would you burn in November, if you could?
pretense, prejudice, /
predeterminism, and /
pre-meeting-meetings.

December
Who would you like to see again in December?
the new year baby /
and ask if we spent her year /
the right way or not